Close your eyes,

It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone, when your heart still does.
stop haunting me,

Saturday, September 26, 2009
Last blogged @

imissyou. ):
.
Hmm, i finally can blog using comp already. (:
Okay, Benzi ask me why never blog. Haha.
Try, can post already. :D
So here it comes again.
.
220909.
Going back to school day.
Heard alot of comments from Xinyi.
It didn't start well, neither did it end well.
Well, Jermaine, Yvonne and Cindy came to my house to help me do stuff.
Thanks. (:
Hmm, after i prepare, we decided to walk to central to have our lunch.
Which is around 4.
Cindy say that she have to go, so she took 358 to whitesands then off to home.
Then Jermaine, Yvonne and I continue walking.
Went to coffee express to eat. Haha! Some jokes along the way.
Then Benzi came.
We ate finished and went to buy bubble tea.
Jermaine got up her bus and went home.
The rest of us went to CC to find Olivia, Melrose and the rest.
After that, accompanied Yvonne to wait for bus. Joked around.
Then Benzi send me home. Thankyou. (:
.
230909.
Morning, another bad day.
Heard things i shouldn't. Again.
Hmm, stayed back with Joanne, Xinyi, Beatrice, Rena and Benzi.
Joanne, Xinyi, Beatrice and I did project.
Rena and Benzi studied.
Hmm, halfway some things happened.
Then Kye Lyn joined us for awhile.
After that Xinyi and Joanne left first.
We stayed till 6plus to clear up the mess.
After that Benzi send me home. (:
A day without Syahin. ):
.
240909.
A day that i tell Xinyi to not tell me anything anymore.
It was okay.
I dance here and there with Yvonne, had so much fun.
Haha. Being the Vasantham Star. :D
Maybe by being happy, everything will be alright.
After school, went home changed and off to CGH for eye checkup.
Took 5. Almost late, but ya. (:
After that we went to meet Syahin, Beatrice and Xinyi.
Jermaine came, but she left first.
So we continued to do the project at Mac.
Till 8. Everything went quite good. (:
Hmm, got abit crazy about my butty.
Then send Syahin home and off the home. (:
Benzi send me back home, reached home 8plus. Thankyou. (:
Something happened along the way though.
.
250909.
Another okay day. Tired. ):
Morning was all okay.
Just got quite busy of the lit project.
Handed up geog project too.
Completed my Chinese homework while waiting for the guides to end.
Went back to change, and went to Benzi home to wait for her to change.
Then while waiting, fell asleep.
End up didn't meet Xinyan they all. Feel so guilty. ):
Stayed at her house till 9plus and headed home.
Benzi send me home again. (:
.
260909.
Morning! (:
Today going to church,
Thought alot alot alot last night.
I'm just be quiet for now.
Think what to say. What to do.
Waiting for benzi msg me. Haha.
Missed my chinese show while blogging. ):
But i hope next week won't forget. Haha.
.
i never wanted to act happy in front of you.
i want you to be happy.
i never wanted to use my love to hurt you.
i want to see you smile.
i never wanted to ask so much from you.
i don't want to quarrel with you.
you understand?
i numb myself to be happy. So that i won't think.
i don't dare to ask, i'm afraid.
so afraid that i might get the answers i don't want.
i always have to find it out myself, why?
i don't there to pin so much hope on you,
i scared i might get hurt like i used to.
every step i move, there is always someone there stop me.
every time when i want to wear that ring, you'll just come to me with hurtful words.
making me stop. what to do.
i'm confused. i need you, i'm tired already. ):
i guess i'll ask you if i'm ready to.
you'll be waiting. right?
imissyou. ):
.
Signed off,
Shazi Bum. :D

Monday, September 21, 2009
Last blogged @

can i ever get your love?

i thought everything was fine.

everything change.

i can't stop thinking what will happen.

like you said, i numb myself with 'i don't know' to all the problems.

leaving it all there unsolved.

your mind was somewhere else.

i need some time to think through.

you need some time to change.

every night i ask the stars how are you.

i never get the answer i've always wanted.

you tried to make me so happy, yet you're hurting deep down.

i ask you if stop loving you will be the best way, you said it'll be worst.

but then, you said the more i love you, the more you don't know how to love me.

what should i do then.

i was suppose to leave you.

you held me back with promises.

i trusted you that we would we'll make good memory.

i want to love you, i can put down everything just to love you.

i don't mind if i get scolded or what.

i can just go home late, cause i want to spend time with you.

i thought i can hold back my tears when i'm with you. but i can't.

the words you said, make me think that you'll leave.

it hurts to know you cried.

i don't know what to do, but to continue loving you.

180909.

Had alot of things happened during school.

After went home to change, met benzi after her girl guides.

Went to beach and rot there till 11plus.
Then take 403 to whitesands, bought mac and rushed home.

Reached home around 1plus. Got scolded.

190909.

Went to church.

Had 3 new comers.

But then not sure whether they joining us for long.

Had dinner with dorcas and went back to HQ to wait for parents.

Went back home by car, msg benzi and off to sleep.

200909.

Went out early in the morning at 10plus with benzi to giant and find her mum.

I was very tired. Still in my dreamland.

After that went to meet Xinyi and do project.

Completed the ferris wheel.

Still got lots to do.

Went to stairs and back home at 6plus.

210909.

Today is a monday.

No school.

Going to do project later.

With beatrice, xinyi, joanne and benzi.

I hope everything will be fine.

Signed off,

Shazi Bum, (:

Thursday, September 17, 2009
Last blogged @

So here comes again. (:

120909.

.
160909.
The ones with Xinyi.

The ones with Syahin.

The ones after school.

The ones at night.

110909, 120909, 130909.

I've got chalet.

So i stayed at there.

Didn't get to meet benzi at all. ):

But it was all okay.

140909.

Didn't go to school. Was tired.

Slept till 1315.

Prepared and went to meet benzi.

Whole day was at her house.

Went home, and prepare for the next day.

150909.

Returned to school.

Alot of things undone.

But hope will finish it fast.

160909.

The whole day was okay until it didn't end well.

The project still undone. ):

Today is 170909.

Decided to post today k.

Hmms, the whole day in school was okay.

Owe teacher homework and had to stay back to do.

Then went to eat awhile and headed to cca straight.

Cca ended at 1530.

Wait for benzi till 4plus, i guess.

I had Joanne and Jermaine to accompany. (:

Then met her. Went to meet Sagiri and Xinyan after that.

Went to whitesands.

Did some ring stuff, walked around and headed home straight.

Going to mug already.

Got chinese compo and stuff to do.

Finally blogged something long, (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER AW! ;D

Signedoff,

Shazi bum. (:

Saturday, September 12, 2009
Last blogged @

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if we were back to the old times,

Bored, use comp.

Brother having celebrations later.

Sister's one is tmr.

I doubt wanxin is going tmr, so ya.

It's okay bah.

Well, everything changed.

Friends, love, everything.

Hard to adapt.

But i guess i can.

Well, my throat was dry.

Super dry.

Drank water.

Slept a few hours.

Mind went up and down. Thoughts were mad.

Morning wasn't great too.

But it was okay.

I've no idea what i want to do now,

So bored.

Days will be the same.

Going out with benzi oftenly.

Preparing for exams, need to do lots of stuff.

I miss you, i need you. What to do.

What i can do to not hurt you.
I've decided, decided to do what i should do.
Loss of words to say. ):
Don't know what i can do for you.
.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NVER! :D
.
signed off,
shazibum. :D

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